3 Months

WOW where has the time flown? I tell ya....for the past three months so much has changed in our lives. I honestly don't think it is because of only one event or even two. Our entire family has changed. Not for the good or bad just changed. The birth of a baby is such a change on a family in and of itself. We have lost two family members that were around well before any children came around. Work for Gregg. Work for Mom. Everyday there is something new with the boys. How does one cope? Well for me it has been pretty hard. I mean really hard. I know it was hard with Zeke. Gregg was in school earning his Masters Degree and working full-time. It was tough feeling like a single mom to three boys. But with Ella it has been even harder. I feel like there is never enough time in the day. I am pulling my hairs out all day. I remember feeling like when I had Kaden I was worried my love for Jaxon was so strong I didn't know how I would be able to split it between two. But I tell you try it with 4 and it is way worse. I love my kids and feel like everyday I spend trying to keep the house clean instead of enjoying them is just damn frustrating.
I really try to listen to people who have 'been there' and 'done that'. You ask them and the tell you enjoy it now because one day they will be gone and it will be all over. It is so so hard you know. But I really listen to them. I get in my fits where the house HAS to be clean and EVERYTHING has to be in its place. I mean I am an anal accountant you know?! But then when all my frustration and fits have passed I sit and reflect on what I have missed out on fussing about dusting and vacuuming.....I let three months pass by! I let three months pass by......
I am not writing this right now to get any pity party by any means. Only as a reminder to myself that FORGET IT! Seriously! Forget it! You can do it! You can let the house faulter for a day, two or even a week. The house can be cleaned. The memories are going to be gone. Enjoy life for what and when it is!

Just look at my sweet little baby! She is hjust darling. Such a blessing. Such a challenge to juggle 4 but honestly those things in life that are the hardest are the things that are worth the most. I know it will get easier....it better for goodness sakes! :)

Right now Ella is sleeping so good [not at night though]. I can't complain. She is pretty much clockwork. She sleeps and is up for only 1 1/2 hours then back down to nap. She seems like she is ALWAYS asleep! I wish I could! She is such a sweetheart and pretty much only cries if she is tired. She doesn't even cry much when she is hungry. She is NOT sleeping all night. She is still up 2-3 times a night. This is wearing on me quite a bit! I am so tired! But I know it seems like it will be forever, but only another month or two and hopefully she will be all night. She has teased me a couple of times and slept from 8pm til 5am....this was only temporary but great while it lasted!
All the boys have fallen in love with their baby sister. She is darling and because she is asleep so much there is so little time to hold and squeeze her. They have to fight me over holding her, because when she is up I want her all to myself. Kaden seems so at ease with her. He loves to walk with her and talk to her. Zeke will always walk up and give her loves and hugs. Jaxon is a bit nervous because she is still so small. But I think he is getting more comfortable. He is always afraid he is doing something wrong. Little does he know he is great at being her big brother. Dad um well Dad would be perfectly happy if she were just locked up and never let out of her bubble! OH can you say over protective? I mean it!!! I just can't wait to see how he is when she is older!